In the wake of the deaths of a 29-year-old Seattle man and his two-year-old surrogate son, allegedly at the hands of the man's partner and boy's father, King County officials are taking note of the occurrence of domestic assault in the gay community. Previously, many believed that domestic violence only happened in heterosexual families. However, LGBT advocates state that while few incidents of domestic violence are reported by members of same-sex couples, it is likely that many such occurrences go unreported, making the actual number much higher.

According to police reports, the same-sex couple involved in the recent homicides was in the process of separating, which is a difficult process for any couple. This is especially true when one of the partners is prone to violence, says Merril Cousin of the King County Coalition Against Domestic Violence.

"When a person is separating from an abusive partner, that's the most dangerous time," she said. "Something like 75 percent of domestic-violence assaults and homicides occur while the person is trying to leave or soon after they've left." The couple's history or whether the alleged perpetrator had a history of violence is not known or alleged at this time.

Despite the fact that Washington courts generally grant joint custody to same-sex couples, the fact that they had a son together likely complicated matters and heightened emotions, especially because the couple was new to the state. The uncertainty may have been too much for the alleged perpetrator, says Connie Burk of LGBT advocacy group The Northwest Network. "If they're not a legal, adopted parent or it's unclear how a state they've moved to would understand their relationship, they may not be in a position to have access to their child," she said. Certainly, this could drive a stressed, worried parent over the edge.

Source: Seattle Weekly, "Gay Rage Comes Out of the Closet," Keegan Hamilton, Aug. 24, 2011